Juliette et Chocolat - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Yes

This is a popular spot for a mature, laid back crowd, from the bland-looking English major to Asian fashionistas.

I went with my chocolate-obsessed out-of-town companion. I thought he would enjoy the experience...

...Boy, was I wrong! The place was hopping but not *overcrowded*, and there seemed to be *at least* 7 or 8 staff members. Still, we must have waited 30 minutes to place our order, and, I kid you not, 2 hours to receive our desserts.

 

We got so bored of waiting that we forgot the exact names of our orders

Were they good? Yes, but definitely weren't worth the wait. So not worth the wait that I won't even bother to comment on them. The contained deeply flavourful chocolate, that's all you need to know. Nothing memorable and nothing worth what we went through.

Would I go back? Yes, but only because I've been there several times in the past and I know that today's service was atypical of what they normally provide. I don't really go solely for the food, I go for the food/thoughts of chocolate/being with friends who love chocolate.

ADDRESS: 1615, St-Denis, Montreal

Decarie Hot Dog - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Yes

This casse-croute is an institution in its neck of the woods. You always see some hungover guy on the bus at 3 AM on a Saturday trying to munch down on their fries, contained in a small paper brown bag, drenched in ketchup, until he can't hold it down any longer and vomits it all over the back of the bus. Due to his previous intake of alcohol, however, the vomit is pretty liquid, and when the bus comes to a stop at a red light the watery vomit progresses towards your feet and designer handbag that you've decided can be put on the floor because it has metal nubs on the corners to keep the leather raised; vomit, of  course, not anticipated. You smell that foul stench that we know all too well, and you look down in stupefaction and disgust. You pick up your bag in shock and dismay, and not knowing what else to do, you evacuate the bus two stops too soon and have to walk your way back home.

That being said, the fries aren't crispy, which is something I don't appreciate. I think they use Yukon Gold potatoes, because they have that distinctive taste and colour, but I can't know for sure.

Anyways, on this night two friends and I ordered a large poutine to share. The fries couldn't really hold up the sauce, the sauce tasted like it was replete with beef bouillon cubes, too salty, too heavy, too strong, but not bad. Portion is generous with fries, gravy, and sauce. Kind of a mushy mess, but still satisfying. I would (and always have) returned.

ADDRESS: 953, Decarie Boulevard, Montreal

Frite Alors! Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Yes

This small chain is a favourite little haunt of mine. You'll know I'm with an out-of-town guest whenever I am there, because I like to take my guests to the touristic Latin Quarter and have them feast on a poutine, which is what I would probably request for a last meal. And of course, I enjoy carrying out my usual pompous airs when I describe the beauty that is this Quebec staple. Outsiders just can't understand. This dish will unite all of us Quebecers, from the Anglos to the immigrants to the Natives, and yes, to the staunchest separatists among us. Your demise is near, Pauline Marois... sleep with one eye open.

Anyways, the decor of this place isn't much to write home about. It's dingy, smells like oil, with plain wooden tables and  chairs. Honestly, I doubt these guys' primary concern is to seduce with their decor. They pretty much just want you to eat and get out. Fine by me.

The menu is pretty varied which some burgers, sandwiches, and fries with different mayonnaise-based sauces (all delicious, trust me), but my companion and I were there for the poutine. Thankfully, my friend chose to go with the Frite Alors!, which was my secret choice. It's pretty simple, containing only green peppers, mushrooms, and bacon. In other words, they are ingredients that won't overshadow the basic structure and flavour of the poutine.

                                                           The Frite Alors! poutine

We got the large. Portion size was generous, sauce was generous and not too thick and/or heavy, and the cheese was mostly definitely generous. The bacon provided smokiness, the mushrooms, unctuous delicious, and the vegetables carried the dish with their lightness. All in all, a win.

ADDRESS: 1710, St Denis, Montreal, QC

Gibby's Restaurant - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Yes, but only on someone else's tab

The warm vintage vibe of Gibby's is the perfect place for reminiscing - with heavy stone walls, unpainted wooden beams running across the ceilings, and crisp white tablecloths. My boss invites all of his employees to dine there for the annual Christmas party at my office. It's always a joyous affair, and this year was no exception.

While most of my colleagues started their meals with the shrimp cocktail, I opted for the shrimp bisque. Quite delicious, I must say. A buttery velvety shrimpy delight that was topped with a flaky biscuit, which was equally buttery. Critiquing the soup, I would say that it lacked an element, which is interchangeable: it needed either some heat, like a shake of cayenne, or something fresh to cut the richness, like a sprinkle of fresh parsley. Yes, it seems as though some fresh dill was provided in the dish, but what use is it if it's still mostly on the sprig? Nothing irks me more than wasting ingredients with garnishes that *could* be useful but are rendered obsolete due to their presentation. It is a waste of a usable ingredient, takes up precious and limited space on my plate which could otherwise be filled with more delectable delights, and when I am eating it just gets in the way of things. In my ridiculously critical eyes, a garnish earns the chef 2 demerit points. And I have to add: if I'm being served a shrimp bisque that's already buttery and heavy, it would make sense to me to provide a whole shrimp somewhere in the centre of the plate, rather than a doughy thing.

                     Shrimp cocktail                                                Shrimp bisque

After my soup, a salad came. Meh. Tomatoes tasted farmed and some spinach leaves were hastily thrown in. The salad dressing was actually quite nice - garlicky and oniony. It's not something I would crave or work to recreate at home, but it's very flavourful for what it is, and I can see why it's developed its own little cult following.

                                                                           Salad

For my main course I had ordered the swordfish with Cajun seasoning. Um... okay, I accept partial responsibility for the meal malfunction. I mean, as someone who professes to love food as much as I do, I should know that while the dense meat of swordfish is able to sustain a spicy blackened Cajun seasoning, its flavour is still too delicate for it. It's just a poor match... kind of like a golfer's outfit, minus the perplexing finesse. A hot mess, if you will... a hot, blackened Cajun, spicy mess. It came with what I think was a sweet plum sauce, which I guess I can see the point, but I didn't use it, and a baked potato and asparagus which I didn't touch. And that damned dill sprig again!!

Swordfish with Cajun seasoning

Anyways, for some reason this meal was ridiculously expensive (I'm going to guess around $75). Would I go again? Yeah, why not. The ambience is appealing, the service is attentive, and the food is alright. Would I want to pay for it? You bet chur ass I wouldn't! Not worth the price.

ADDRESS: 298, Place d'Youville, Montreal, QC