Shorty's Pub - New York, NY

RETURN? Maybe to watch a sports game (who am I kidding, I don't watch that garbage)

"This the best philly cheesesteak in NYC u guyz!" is what several of my friends, and plenty of Yelpers, have claimed. Okay then, I thought, I love cheese, I love steak, I don't hate Philadelphia (cream cheese), so why not give it a shot? How bad could it be?

I found myself one lone Friday night, with nowhere to go and no one to see. Instead of crying into my Heinie Light (listen, gotta maintain the waistline), I figured, Eff it. Let me order that cheesesteak and see what this is all about.

The menu offers either a chicken or beef cheesesteak, with a choice of cheese (American, Monterey Jack, or Provolone.) I opt for the beef Provolone.

I'm waiting...

Waiting...

Still waiting...

..And finally, she emerges:

 Philly Cheesesteak with Provolone

You guys, it was dry. The flavor was nice, don't get me wrong. French baguette had been used, it had a decent crunch upon first bite and the inside of it was pillowy and chewy. The meat was good, too: it had some fried onions, and was clearly well-spiced with a "kick," my guessing being cayenne, black pepper, salt (obvs), probably some garlic powder... but something was missing. A certain je-ne-sais-quoi, you might say. It wasn't dripping with oil, the cheese flavor and amount was "conservative" and it just wasn't a real philly cheesesteak that I have come to know and love. It was a philly cheesesteak-like sandwich, and it would satisfy your craving in a pinch, but I'm sad to report that it's just not the real deal.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good sandwich, decent sandwich. If you happen to be at Shorty's and you're hungry, go ahead and order it. But heed my fair warning: Cheesesteak, it is not. 

ADDRESS: 1678, 1st Avenue, New York, NY 10128

Wa Jeal - New York, NY

RETURN? Yes 

Every week I live in anticipation of Wa Jeal Wednesdays. Now, what's that, you ask? It's simply the only day of the week when I allow myself to order in. As you can probably tell by the name, I always occasionally opt for Wa Jeal Sichuan Chili House. This place is the bomb diggity. It's not perfect, mind you, but it gets the job done and it gets it done well.

I always sometimes (as I'm a very serious food blogger, and not a ravenous, stubborn, childish Wednesday glutton) order stir-fried chicken with spice roasted chili. The price is definitely right (considering it's smack-dab in Manhattan) and it's usually delivered within 20 minutes.

Once the delivery man-lady-boy-thing hands me that warm brown bag I can't even think straight. A fully-outfitted clown could deliver it and I wouldn't notice. When I de-lid the round plastic bowl, this is what I see in all its oily glory:

                                                                   Isn't she lovely?

O that mind-and-mouth-numbing Sichuan peppercorn! You have become my tastiest addiction.

Mind you, this dish has its shortcomings. First of all, the chicken is always overcooked to the point of being dry and rubbery. I'm ashamed to admit that I love my meats dry and chewy, but I know and understand why the average person would find it unappetizing. Also, I don't know why they use so much oil, but the bottom of the plate is replete with nasty, smelly, slimy, chili-infused, heavenly, blessed oil that I may or may not mix in with my rice.

I love you, Wa Jeal Wednesdays.

ADDRESS: 1588 2nd Avenue, New York, NY

Qing Hua Dumplings - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Most assuredly

This post will be short and sweet, just like the sweet, sweet dumplings that this place supplies. My coworker had always wanted to try soup dumplings, so we decided, on a whim, to go Qing Hua right near our workplace. Before this visit, he had only heard fables of the juicy, chewy, delectable nuggets of joy, with their thin, glistening skins, plump and ready to explode. I assured him he was in for a treat. 

 Without steam. Thieving, impatient fingers spotted!

With steam

We ordered two bamboo steamers, each with half orders of:

-Curry chicken

-Pork and pickled cabbage

-Pork and coriander

-Pork with leek and shrimp

One order contains 15 dumplings, therefore half an order would be 7 of one and 8 of another flavour. 

My favourite by far was the curry chicken because it contained, how do I explain this, the "sunniest" essences of the bunch. The curry was strong and after having been mixed with the sweet and unctuous meaty melted fat healthy liquid, it was simply the most satisfying. Second place was the pork and pickled cabbage. The cabbage predictably gave a pleasurable sour note to the dumpling. The last two were still good, but the flavour profiles weren't strong and were therefore indistinguishable from one another. 

The only thing I don't like about soup dumplings is that sometimes the steam adheres the dough from two different dumplings, so when you reach to pick one up, they both tear and the soup leaks out. This seems to be unique to Qing Hua as this hasn't happened to me nearly as often at other soup dumpling joints, but it is no less than a travesty to all of mankind.

ADDRESSES:

1676 Ave Lincoln, Montreal, QC

1019 Boul Saint-Laurent, Montreal, QC

Pho Thanh Nam Quan - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Yes

That is all. 


ADDRESS: Local 120, 740, boul. Cote Vertu, Montreal, QC

Ramen Smackdown: NYC Edition - Ramen-Ya, Momofuku Noodle Bar, Ippudo

RETURN? (or in this case, WINNER?) Ramen Ya, by a long shot. Special mention to Ippudo for best pork buns though!


Yeah so I moved to NYC and neglected to tell 90% of the people I know. That's fine.

Anyways,  I've been lucky enough to have a chance to sample some of this city's finest ramen houses... and also Ramen-Ya, which, oddly enough, turned out to be the delicious winner of this fiercest of competition. But of course, I would go to any of these places again in a heart beat.

Now, for the assessment:

AMBIANCE: All three restaurants are winners here. Although, I do have a personal preference towards Ramen-Ya, with its dark/light colour juxtaposition, was small and serene. I actually felt like I was in Japan, and I left my petty troubles at the door.

By contrast, both Ippudo and Momofuku were definitely more bustling in atmosphere, which Momofuku being a regular-sized oblong-shaped restaurant, and Ippudo being a venerable giant among restaurant sizes in the city.

Having sat at the bar at all three establishments, I can say the following: Ramen Ya's cooking style is still a secret to me (because it was done in the kitchen area behind a beaded curtain), Ippudo's is chaotic, with lots of yelling, screaming, and not-so-secret drinking among chefs, and Momofuku's is calm, organized, and full of multi-tasking. All cool, all amazing, but I'd have to say that Ippudo most accurately depicts my style of organization... unfortunately.

SERVICE: The service at all these places were good. Everything was pretty much on time. Nothing to report here. Moving right along...

DELICIOUSNESS: Let's get one thing straight here. All three are stars. Still, we'll go into details here:

Ramen-Ya: I ordered the Shoyu Tonkatsu. Ramen-Ya's chewy noodles were the lightest of the bunch, and thus my favorite. The broth had this fragrant, light, sweet, milky-silky quality to it that I've never had with any other ramen. Eating it was a sensory explosion. As well, the pork was soft, sweet, I'd even have to say it was also silky. There was just something about this place. I also had the steamed dumplings, which were your typical "good" dumplings (i.e. better than so-so, but not amazing.) This places just rocks.

Ramen-Ya's Shoyu Tonkatsu. Yum yum yum! Plus, love the spoon!

Ippudo: Two words. Pork buns. These things were positively DE-LEC-TA-BLE. Sweet, sour, saucy, melt-in-your-mouth, pillowy bun. Wowee. But apart from what I think was a squeeze of spicy mayo and a boring piece of iceberg lettuce, there was nothing else to crisp up the dish. Anyways, their ramen was pretty good too, but the broth was much oilier and heavier, and coated my mouth with every slurp. It was full of umami, which was great, but it lacked the ethereal quality of Ramen-Ya. As well, I found the noodles just a tad bit crumbly. I wasn't really able to chew them thoroughly. Now, it would be wrong of me to mislead you and tell you that I got a particular bowl of ramen, when in reality I got another one. The problem is that I forget which one I got. So before this gets awkward, let's move on to Momo's, thaaaanks!

Ippudo's porkalicious buns

Momofuku: Okay so this place's pork buns are pretty tasty, and I really enjoyed the addition of the sweet pickled cucumbers and chives, but bless its heart, that's an ugly pork bun. Seriously, it looks like someone dropped a log of tofu in dirt, then sliced it up. The bun has a face only a mother could love. Just for the appearance alone, I gave it 3 demerit points. Maybe it was more delicious, I don't know -- frankly, I don't want to know. In my mind, it tasted worse because it looked worse. I ordered the Momofuku Ramen, which was great - pork two different ways, nice chewy noodles, broth was lighter than Ippudo plus with a refreshing citrus note combined with a smoky one. I'd have to say this was my second favorite restaurant.

Momofuku pork buns. Look at that "appetizing" pork.                               Momofuku Ramen                         

In conclusion: Ramen-Ya? More like Ramen-YEAH!!!!

ADDRESSES:

Ramen-Ya: 181 W 4th St., New York, NY 10014
Ippudo: 65 4th Ave., New York, NY 10003
Momofuku Noodle Bar: 171 1st Ave., New York, NY 10003

Le Biftheque - Montreal, Quebec

RETURN? Not by choice, but I suppose yes

I received the fateful text on a fine Tuesday evening. "Guys, it's my boyfriend's birthday this Saturday. I am thinking of hosting a surprise party at Le Biftheque. Be there for 8:00 and don't be late!"

Le Biftheque is well known 'round these parts and seems to have two reputations: Either it elicits a reaction such as "It's the best place in the city," or something along the lines of "It's gross. Never go there." I, however, had never been. I always wanted to see it, with those weirdo cows just standing in front of the place each time I am on my way to the airport. After having eaten there, where does my stance lie? Somewhere in the middle. Little did I know my meal would be replete with mystery items!

We arrived at 8PM, the birthday boy got there at 8:30, and we waited until 9PM to order from the late night (read: cheaper) menu. It seemed like a pretty good deal: $16 for an onion blossom (per table), an appetizer, an entree from a selection of eight, and a mille feuille for dessert.

First came the onion blossom. Let me preface by telling you all how absolutely excited I was to try this item. Deep fried delights are my favourite of all the world's delights, and with the natural sweetness of cooked onion, it seemed like it could only be a win-win. 

Onion Blossom

Ehhhhh. It wasn't bad but it wasn't exactly great either. While the majority of the blossom was decent enough, the bottom of each floret (which is attached to the root of the onion), hadn't cooked. So on the one hand you're eating something reminiscent of an onion ring, and then you get a taste (and whiff) of strong raw onion. I'm not a fan of raw onion so it's not something I enjoyed. To top it off, the sauce was weird. It tasted mostly like a dollop of horse radish mixed with a squeeze of ketchup. Waz it Heinz doe?

French Onion Soup

This soup, was, in a nutshell, nasty. And not the good kind of nasty. The cheese was alright, there was enough on it, but the onions were brown like soil and the smell of that shit-broth was nauseating. Tasted like soup packet. Nuff said. 

Next in line, after the so-so onion blossom and the abysmal onion soup (I don't think I had more than 3 spoonfuls -- even that was generous!) came the main course. I ordered the skirt steak with a baked potato.... and what I got, and what everyone else who ordered the skirt steak got, was another item on the menu called the NY Strip with Pepper Sauce. Whatever. I didn't even bother to complain. The waitress was a surly middle-aged lady who would have fought with me, and my standards had already declined since having ingested the onion soup. I figured I'd just cut my losses and eat what they gave me. The potato was great, the meat was alright, but that sauce was a no go fo' sho'. I couldn't even taste it, because it was so grainy with the raw flour they had used to thicken the base. It wasn't unpleasant, it just wasn't good. 

"Skirt Steak"??

Next on the docket was a dessert of mille feuille, which in French means thousand papers. I was excited to eat it because I do enjoy my desserts, especially mille feuille. But as pictured below, there weren't a thousand papers. There wasn't even a one. Instead, what we got was a layer of custard, a layer of some type of lighter cream (I'm guessing pastry cream?) a very thin layer of crumbled graham cracker, topped with the sugary icing. Well, it wasn't mille feuille, but whatever it was, the best way I can describe is "pretty alright." It was clearly one of the top items from the menu.

"Mille Feuille"?

All in all, the meal was alright. I would never choose to go there on my own, but if I were to be invited to another party, I would go. 

ADDRESS: 6705, Chemin de la Cote de Liesse, Saint-Laurent, QC

Dic Anns - Montreal, Quebec

Return: No

This wasn't my first time at this Montreal institution, but it'll definitely be my last. Each time I dine here, I am left disappointed. I keep telling myself "Next time it'll be better." But it never gets better. It really never gets better. Never ever. Why never?

Umm excuse me, OQLF. There's English on this menu board. Please remedy the problem before Dic Ann's gets too carried away. I, for one, and shocked and appalled to see this sub-par language in my belle province.

Single Cheeseburger

My companion and I went on a shopping spree by Marche Centrale, and he mentioned he had never been to Dic Ann's as we passed it by. We decided to split a spur-of-the-moment single cheeseburger. He was excited to sample this Montreal staple, and I warned him that "it's not for everyone" rather than wisely just telling him "It sucks." 

Why did I do this? Well, it *is* a Montreal speciality, and it was pretty full of young people. I always assumed my taste buds are off.

Long story short, he took one bite, he grimaced and said "What's that sharp nasty flavour?" and he refused to eat any more of it. 

I need to learn to trust myself. 

ADDRESS: 1000 Rue du Marché-Central, Montreal, QC H4N 1J8